The Overconsumption about Black Love

Happy International Podcast Day!

How do you feel about the conversations on social media about black love?


Music:
"Infinite"
Instrumental by Homage
   • Chill Jazz Hip Hop Beat / Lofi

The Youtube Video I was referring to: https://youtu.be/x_t_YySAsMM?si=xuQ7rVUY7mXMo5v6

Transcript

Hello all, welcome to black girl in the world! If you don’t know me, you will and if you do… welcome back! I’m a podcaster and this is the show! The show I hope you enjoy listening to. This week, we will talk about the overconsumption of love and conversations of black love… Happy Fall yall!

So! 
I won’t go too deep into the history of it because I am not a historian and my podcast is moreso about my views and thoughts on things but I do want to recognize that we do things because of the generations before us. Our ancestors were captured and forced to be stripped from their identities so we are the product of their old and new found identities on stolen lands, no debate about that and I will not debate about research lol. Overtime, various things came out of it (referring to the romantic love aspect here). I saw a youtube video and I will put it in the description below but she gave a really great timeline of Black love and why it is the way it is today. There is so much discourse between people (specifically men and women and my timeline is very much black and brown communities) about what their standards should be and how to attract partners. I’m telling y'all it is too much if you really dive into it such as the reason why men want housewives and the growing independence of women and lessen the stress in their life which can include men, men having increasing numbers of loneliness, wanting to protect their peace from women and just so many things.

It is too much because there becomes this divide and that divide has broken a lot of relationships because one person just couldn't look past the other’s thoughts and opinions but honestly… Can I blame them? Every day you get on twitter, you find tweets where someone is asking a question like “gay son or thot daughter” and “how many figures you want your man to have” and we are just expected to have daily discussions about this and not be drained haha. Dont even get me started on the rebrand of 1 person vs several people who either find them attractive or not and the exchange between them for entertainment and more discussion. But people, grown folks, not just high school kids and younger, grown people like you and me and older are having these “hard” discussions and having weird takes on it. Weird in my opinion and i’ll talk more about that in another episode but no seriously.

And dont even get me started on when you go on instagram and all you see is content about Black love and all you hear is “this is why I love you.. Whooooaaa this is why I love you… because you love meee” ahahaha. Now dont get me wrong I like the song and I havent heard it in a while now that I think about it so they have moved on from that song so I can comfortably have it on my playlist. Also That might be one of my love songs at my wedding but look at the influence seeing love on social media can have. This is also my doing as well because I follow those pages like the blacklovebible page, I like, comment, and retweet. Shoot I’ll even send the post to people because I’m like “awww this is so cute” or “awww i want to do this”. Before I met my boyfriend, I was “Lord God, when is it my time?” hahaha seeing post after post after post will make you go into a spiral like that. I think it is a lot because social media allows us to talk how we want to talk and when on these platforms and it opens the door for opinions on what we want and also what we should do.

I saw a tiktok of a woman on a podcast who was talking about people who should not date because they make 50k or less. I just feel like again it is all so much. Sometimes when you start feeding into the narrative of what social media wants you think and feel and analyzing relationship gurus and their value… you forget what is actually going on in real life. How many of us know someone in the six figure salary within close range? Okay next question? How many of us know someone who is making more than you and not complaining about money still? Okay, cool. Next question and it is a hard one so look into the mirror and think carefully… Do you make six figures?

I dont ask this question to embarrass anymore or looking down on anybody because I'm definitely not where I want to be pay-wise and I’m currently looking for a job. I asked that question for people to be real with themselves. Forget the “high value man and woman” convo, You can have standards but shouldn't we also tell people when their standards is a little too high especially if they understand that it is a small percentage of what they want out there? Its like me wanting a man no shorter than 6’6 and i have either never met someone that tall or have only known maybe one or two in my lifetime. The higher I go at this point, the less of a chance I have if my common goal is to be with someone I love with my whole heart. I wouldnt tell a woman who is making a lot of money to find someone who is making less, they are in a different caliber and she would have more opportunities of meeting someone who earns the same and maybe more than her if thats what she wants. I think its just a smaller pool of those folks and it also gives the impression that people who make less than 50k shouldn't be focused on love and companionship because they should be chasing a bag and then after that is said and done.. Then you can start talking seriously about dating and marriage. 

I am not wise beyond my years, I make silly takes at times so with that being said I do love love and I love that people find it even in the most hopeless of places. Some people want to chase the bag first, that's okay and some people want to be on the hunt looking for their forever person. That's okay too.

I'm also not here to beat up on black love on social media either. There are reasons for this.  Historically, mainstream media has often underrepresented or misrepresented black relationships and families. Social media platforms such as these pages about love especially amongst black people do provide a space where black individuals and couples can showcase their love, celebrating their relationships and highlighting positive examples that may not be as prevalent in traditional media. I have had several of my own experiences of this. One of the main ones was more recent when I saw a couple who I felt like was similar to the love story my boyfriend and I have and I was so excited that I sent some of their stories to my boyfriend and I’m like baby look hes from the dmv area and shes from the south just like you and me babyyyy!! And hes just like haha great :) lol he could tell I was very excited. I think when you are able to see images and stories of black love on social media, it can foster a sense of community and solidarity, like wow someone who not only looks like me… has a partner who also looks like my partner or has similarities… we are so connected. It allows individuals to connect with others who share similar experiences and values, promoting a sense of belonging and empowerment.

It can even bring hope that love is not dead when the guys are opening the doors and having the most delicate care for the people they are dating. The girls are buying their guys gifts and doing these things for him to make him happy and you see examples of those things and sigh of relief like whew from the videos I’ve seen “I think black folks are gonna be okay with one another”. Seeing positive videos of black love can even give hope for your relationship to know that others are not perfect, they have baggage such as you and yours but as you can see in these clips, they are trying again and again.

I think we can consume but recognize who we are at the same time. Indulge a little bit in the chocolate and remember to take in fruits and veggies as well. People use social media for different things and at times it is not about us and our view of it. What I want to say to you listener…you have your mind, body, and spirit to recognize how much is too much, unlearn bad habits learn good and balanced ones, and relay what you preach

Thank you for taking the time to listen to this. Share, subscribe, and comment. Check out the other episodes if you haven’t already, alright y'all this is my time. Bye!!!